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yesterday was 01-11-13 - UPDATED 3/06/2013

  • Good luck and be strong. Everything will be as it is meant to be in the end. Work on self improvement. Do it for you and nobody else. It is hard to love someone who is not happy with who they are or feels they should be better than they are.

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    beardown2489

  • Wow. I am sorry to hear the news. If you need to, take advantage of people here when you can.

    There are lots of good things here starting with your own post.

    Keep your head up and take care of yourself Winter,

    602Husker

  • Hang in there and keep your chin up, winter. We're thinking of you, and your second family is here for you when/if you need us.

    Kevin Ryan

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    Mike77

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    weiddj

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    iBleedRed6801

  • WintersComing said...

    And it was the worst day of my life. Without going into too much detail I will just say that the person I love most in life has asked for a separation. This person is the reason I wake up in the morning, they are the reason I am motivated to give everything 100% and they are the reason I was happy. I love my wife with all my heart.
    I don't know what the future holds for me, and honestly, I don't want to experience anything without her. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I am 24 years old. We have been married for about 2.5 years, and together for almost 6. I honestly don't know why I am typing this here, I need support.
    I have moved into the second bedroom of our house for the time being, and this is the first night I have spent away from her. Let's just say I am struggling.
    I have asked for one more opportunity to turn it around, and I'm not sure what she will decide. Either way, I will be spending the next few weeks in this bedroom.
    I tried to go to sleep at 11:00 pm and it is now close to 5 am. I am sure I slept some here and there, but mostly I just laid here and shook, disgusted with myself for not doing everything possible to make my wife the happy.
    I have never wept like I have today. I am completely broken. I never realized how much I took her for granted until right now. I went to sleep with, and woke up next to the most wonderful person I have ever known.
    I am sorry to the boneyard for bringing my heartache here, but I have nowhere else to turn. My parents and my wife never "got along", and anything they say will just make the pain of losing her even worse.
    My hope with this post is that hopefully one person that reads this post, who is in a similar situation to me, understands what it is like to lose someone you would give anything for. I hope someone sees this and makes the changes needed to have a successful marriage.
    Again, I am sorry to the boneyard for bringing this here. Have a good day.

    I can relate pretty well to the pain you're going through my friend. Went down that road myself. Most people, men and women, take our significant others for granted until its too late.
    I was with my daughter's mother for 10 years. We never married because of the struggles we went through on a regular basis. Mainly differing opinions on how to raise a child and her oldest daughter. It ended terribly. I came home one day and she said she had had enough and was leaving with the kids. Came outta leftfield. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Found out about a week or 2 later that she had met someone else and that was her reason for leaving. I was absolutely devastated. Guarantee you've never met a bigger drunk than what I was the first 2 months after she left. I blamed her for everything. Thought she was the biggest "c u next Tuesday" on the planet. But after awhile, I realized there were things I could've and should've done to make her happy and more content. In the end, I accepted my share of the blame for our failed relationship.
    Do I miss her sometimes? Sure. I especially miss having my daughter here everyday. That's the worst part. Mainly I miss having someone to lay down with every night. To discuss my day with. Even though we had our problems, I was still very much in love when we split up. But I've come to the realization that it was for the best. True happiness lies somewhere out there for me. You can't beg or force someone to love you or feel the same way you do.
    I feel your pain man and I've been there myself. But take a small ioda of faith in the hope that you might have a chance to salvage what you hold dear to your heart. It doesn't always go that way so make the most of it if it does present itself. Tell her you need her. Not just that you want her. Let her know you're nothing without her.
    My heart goes out to you my friend. God bless and best of luck. I'll be around if ya need a friend.

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    Blitz

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    WaterfowlJunky

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    Husker SF

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    Sandhiller

  • Prayers your way. Stay strong.God Bless.

    roseyloper

  • Thanks again guys. I'm laying down to my second night alone... It doesn't get any worse than this. I am trying to give her space because she has said she needs to think. Our relationship being where it is is entirely my fault. I got complacent when we got married and stopped doing the extra things I did when we were dating and engaged.
    I let her know that I am evaluating myself, and I know it is time for me to grow up. I matured more today than the last year. I appreciate all the support. I can only hope and pray that she realizes my commitment to change and gives me more time.
    I know deep down she doesn't want a divorce, but feeling like your husbands mother has got to be a killer. I am very embarassed writing this here. You guys are the best, I have read her a couple responses from this board already. They have sparked conversation. I will continue to be strong until I go to bed, where I cry until I sleep, and wake up still crying.
    Thank you all again.
    Oh, I just realized I had a bunch of PMs. I am going to read them now. Thank you.

    WintersComing

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    Twitter: @mikejschaefer Email: mschaefer@247sports.com

    Mike Schaefer

  • WintersComing said...

    Thanks again guys. I'm laying down to my second night alone... It doesn't get any worse than this. I am trying to give her space because she has said she needs to think. Our relationship being where it is is entirely my fault. I got complacent when we got married and stopped doing the extra things I did when we were dating and engaged. I let her know that I am evaluating myself, and I know it is time for me to grow up. I matured more today than the last year. I appreciate all the support. I can only hope and pray that she realizes my commitment to change and gives me more time. I know deep down she doesn't want a divorce, but feeling like your husbands mother has got to be a killer. I am very embarassed writing this here. You guys are the best, I have read her a couple responses from this board already. They have sparked conversation. I will continue to be strong until I go to bed, where I cry until I sleep, and wake up still crying. Thank you all again. Oh, I just realized I had a bunch of PMs. I am going to read them now. Thank you.

    Shot you a PM. Hope some of the thoughts help.

    Pat

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    PizzaPat

  • I believe it takes a lot of courage to post something so personal on a message board. And to get the unbelievable support from the people here is a testament to the type of people that are part of the board.

    Thoughts and prayers go out to you Winter. I hope the two of you can resolve what ever issues exist and continue your life together as a family.

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    kramer32

  • Hi guys, first of all thanks again for all the support. This is truly the greatest place on the web.

    The weekend was very difficult. I haven't eaten more than 2-3 bites of food since Friday around noon. Sleep hasn't come easy, and what little sleep there was, was restless. I am running on fumes and adrenaline at this point.

    The self evaluation process is almost as bad as being asked for a divorce. Once I began "looking in the mirror" so to speak, I started noticing things that I wasn't happy with and things that are direct contributors to my relationship with my wife being where it is. I am very happy that I am making the changes, and opening my eyes. I feel myself maturing and becoming a man, and not a 24 year old high school student. Obviously, I wish the changes were under different circumstances.

    My wife and I had a good talk last night, and I can tell divorce isn't what she truly wants. She also wants someone that she is proud of on a personal level, and someone she believes is capable of being a good parent. I still don't know what decision she will make, but I know our relationship is in a better place than it was on Friday.

    Thank you all for your support, and advice. I didn't expect the love you have shown me. I am truly grateful.

    WintersComing

  • WintersComing said...

    Hi guys, first of all thanks again for all the support. This is truly the greatest place on the web.

    The weekend was very difficult. I haven't eaten more than 2-3 bites of food since Friday around noon. Sleep hasn't come easy, and what little sleep there was, was restless. I am running on fumes and adrenaline at this point.

    The self evaluation process is almost as bad as being asked for a divorce. Once I began "looking in the mirror" so to speak, I started noticing things that I wasn't happy with and things that are direct contributors to my relationship with my wife being where it is. I am very happy that I am making the changes, and opening my eyes. I feel myself maturing and becoming a man, and not a 24 year old high school student. Obviously, I wish the changes were under different circumstances.

    My wife and I had a good talk last night, and I can tell divorce isn't what she truly wants. She also wants someone that she is proud of on a personal level, and someone she believes is capable of being a good parent. I still don't know what decision she will make, but I know our relationship is in a better place than it was on Friday.

    Thank you all for your support, and advice. I didn't expect the love you have shown me. I am truly grateful.

    Good man winter. Hope things continue to progress. Your BYC brethren is always here to support you

    IDWIW

  • WintersComing said...

    Hi guys, first of all thanks again for all the support. This is truly the greatest place on the web.

    The weekend was very difficult. I haven't eaten more than 2-3 bites of food since Friday around noon. Sleep hasn't come easy, and what little sleep there was, was restless. I am running on fumes and adrenaline at this point.

    The self evaluation process is almost as bad as being asked for a divorce. Once I began "looking in the mirror" so to speak, I started noticing things that I wasn't happy with and things that are direct contributors to my relationship with my wife being where it is. I am very happy that I am making the changes, and opening my eyes. I feel myself maturing and becoming a man, and not a 24 year old high school student. Obviously, I wish the changes were under different circumstances.

    My wife and I had a good talk last night, and I can tell divorce isn't what she truly wants. She also wants someone that she is proud of on a personal level, and someone she believes is capable of being a good parent. I still don't know what decision she will make, but I know our relationship is in a better place than it was on Friday.

    Thank you all for your support, and advice. I didn't expect the love you have shown me. I am truly grateful.

    Excellent news. Thanks for sharing. Hope things continue to improve/progress on all levels.

    Kevin Ryan

  • Thanks SnC and Mr. Ryan.

    WintersComing

  • WintersComing said...

    Hi guys, first of all thanks again for all the support. This is truly the greatest place on the web.

    The weekend was very difficult. I haven't eaten more than 2-3 bites of food since Friday around noon. Sleep hasn't come easy, and what little sleep there was, was restless. I am running on fumes and adrenaline at this point.

    The self evaluation process is almost as bad as being asked for a divorce. Once I began "looking in the mirror" so to speak, I started noticing things that I wasn't happy with and things that are direct contributors to my relationship with my wife being where it is. I am very happy that I am making the changes, and opening my eyes. I feel myself maturing and becoming a man, and not a 24 year old high school student. Obviously, I wish the changes were under different circumstances.

    My wife and I had a good talk last night, and I can tell divorce isn't what she truly wants. She also wants someone that she is proud of on a personal level, and someone she believes is capable of being a good parent. I still don't know what decision she will make, but I know our relationship is in a better place than it was on Friday.

    Thank you all for your support, and advice. I didn't expect the love you have shown me. I am truly grateful.

    Great to hear man, one of my best friends that i went to high school with told me he's getting divorced on Saturday so im glad there's some good news on here.

    I'm happy for you buddy

    twitter @RealChadSchultz Goal in life is to save the world from Nickelback and Glee

    RealChadSchultz

  • RealChadSchultz said...

    Great to hear man, one of my best friends that i went to high school with told me he's getting divorced on Saturday so im glad there's some good news on here.

    I'm happy for you buddy

    Honestly, she could go either way. Hopefully she decideds to give me some time.

    WintersComing

  • WintersComing said...

    Hi guys, first of all thanks again for all the support. This is truly the greatest place on the web.

    The weekend was very difficult. I haven't eaten more than 2-3 bites of food since Friday around noon. Sleep hasn't come easy, and what little sleep there was, was restless. I am running on fumes and adrenaline at this point.

    Glad to hear the communication has begun

    Dont forget to eat...not eating would be the opposite of taking care of yourself. If you are working on yourself that should be #1 biggrin

    Keep it up, i wish you the best going foward

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    beardown2489

  • WintersComing said...

    Hi guys, first of all thanks again for all the support. This is truly the greatest place on the web.

    The weekend was very difficult. I haven't eaten more than 2-3 bites of food since Friday around noon. Sleep hasn't come easy, and what little sleep there was, was restless. I am running on fumes and adrenaline at this point.

    The self evaluation process is almost as bad as being asked for a divorce. Once I began "looking in the mirror" so to speak, I started noticing things that I wasn't happy with and things that are direct contributors to my relationship with my wife being where it is. I am very happy that I am making the changes, and opening my eyes. I feel myself maturing and becoming a man, and not a 24 year old high school student. Obviously, I wish the changes were under different circumstances.

    My wife and I had a good talk last night, and I can tell divorce isn't what she truly wants. She also wants someone that she is proud of on a personal level, and someone she believes is capable of being a good parent. I still don't know what decision she will make, but I know our relationship is in a better place than it was on Friday.

    Thank you all for your support, and advice. I didn't expect the love you have shown me. I am truly grateful.

    Glad to hear that at the very least the lines of communication have been opened. That means there is at least a chance of salvaging your marriage. Keep working on improving yourself and keep the faith my friend. I'll pray for you and your wife. God bless you Winter!

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    Blitz

  • Sounds like a positive update Winter. Hopefully everything works out for you. Good luck my man.

    NU Kyle

  • beardown2489 said...

    Glad to hear the communication has begun

    Dont forget to eat...not eating would be the opposite of taking care of yourself. If you are working on yourself that should be #1 biggrin

    Keep it up, i wish you the best going foward

    BearDown speaks the truth my friend!!!!

    You must take care of yourself.

    I am glad you are communicating as well. It's the first step in mending the relationship.

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    PizzaPat

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